barbie and also fics

Henry's escape continued

2008-11-16T01:22:33Z

That One Universe-Crushing Crossover fic

Summary: Fahrenheit to the rescue!

Upon hearing the sound of Henry hanging up Wu Zun threw down the receiver, grabbed his coat and began to sprint downstairs to the car park. It wasn’t until he was sat on the scooter with his helmet on that he realized Jiro had not been as quick off the mark as he was. Wu Zun peered at his watch. One thirty in the morning. Henry had been in the Phone box since 10:36 if they didn’t hurry Henry would soon be forced to do something no idol should ever do. No matter how badass a kid with a violin in a boy band was he was still a kid with a violin in a boy band. And that was not nearly rock and roll enough to pee in a phone box. It was an unwritten rule that idols never, ever did anything unseemly on pain of… becoming more famous than anyone really needed to be. You would never catch him making headlines, no one wanted to be that much like News, or Arashi for that matter. Wu Zun began to cry inside. Maybe that was why Oguri Shun’s version of Hana Kimi was better than his?
Finally, ten minutes later, Jiro arrived.

“Took your time! If we don’t get there fast we’ll be stuck with Calvin forever.” Wu Zun shouted making chivvying gestures from the back seat of the scooter.

“I’m sorry! I just had to eat some breakfast change my clothes and brush my teeth.” He smiled a dazzling idol smile. “You know you’re in your pyjamas right?”
Wu Zun looked down at himself and saw fluffy sheep dancing across his legs.

“Geezus! I’ll be right back.” Jiro was left standing there for thirty minutes tapping his foot impatiently waiting for Wu Zun to reappear. When he finally did he, Jiro, was shocked at the angry look on his face.

“You ate the last banana! I was forced to make myself a full breakfast, with egg and bacon and nice crispy sausages.” Wu Zun pouted, or gave Jiro his normal look, Jiro couldn’t really tell. “I saved some of my sausage for you though!”
Jiro beamed at the kindness and he proceeded to gobble up the sausage as Wu Zun clambered on the scooter behind him. Sighing, Jiro decided he really should tell Wu Zun as he turned on the engine.

“You know you’re still in pyjamas right?”
Jiro was surprised at the profanities that escaped Wu Zun’s mouth. He didn’t even know what some of them meant. The amazing thing abut Wu Zun’s mistake was that he was wearing pyjama bottoms but not the ones with sheep jumping happily across them. He was now wearing pale blue velvet ones with white silk bows on. Why he even owned them Jiro would never know.

After another agonising period of waiting the two members of Fahrenheit set off to collect Henry some hour after they had promised to come. A question that never popped into their minds was how did they know which phone box he was in? Or how did they know what number to call? Or even how did they know precisely what time he had been shut in the phone box?
One Jiro did feel the need to ask though was, “Why did we eat breakfast at one in the morning?”

“You always need to have a good meal in you when you leave the house. Who knows how long we’ll be gone for?” Wu Zun replied peacefully as he felt the wind tickle his face and make his hair flutter. He felt so windswept and interesting.

***

It was beginning to feel like more trouble that it was actually worth by the time they arrived at the phone box. That was when the least expected happened.

“I’m afraid we can’t let you do that!” Jiro and Wu Zun were not sure who they were expecting when they turned to see who had spoken but it was definitely not DBSK.
Wu Zun and Jiro didn’t feel bad that they couldn’t remember all of their names; they were irritating.

“We can’t just let you take away a band member from our dear friends Super Junior! Us Koreans have gotta stick together.”

“A, Henry’s only part of Super Junior M, you eej!” Wu Zun shouted, lifting his shoulders to try to make him look manlier.

“And B, we are way better friends with Super Junior then you! They gave us an award!” Jiro’s childlike argument did not have the effect he wanted.

“He’s lying right?” One of them sobbed.

“Yeah, but we’ve been on variety shows with them!” Mickey shouted in retort.

“Ok let’s ask the first person we see who is better friends with Super Junior and let them decide who gets Henry!” Jaejoong said as the rest of DBSK comforted each other.
The first person they saw happened to be Toma as he made his way miserably downt he street.

“OH MY GOD IT’S IKUTA TOMA!” They heard Henry cry from inside the phone box.

“Huh, he’s actually in there…” Jiro muttered as he looked at the taped up phone box.

“Alright Toma, Who is better friends with Super Junior? DBSK or Fahrenheit?” Jae joong asked. Toma was not paying any attention to DBSK, instead he was staring at Jiro Wang with a look that spoke of immense pain. Jiro was returning that look with equal pain.

“YOU!” TOMA SCREAMED.

“Not so loud you’ll wake the neighbours!” Jiro replied sardonically.

“You are so up yourself Mr Wang!” (At this point several of the fully grown men accumulated in the street collapsed into childish giggles).

“Just because I made a better Nakatsu than you! The fangirls said it all!” Jiro spat at Toma.

Toma being Toma, and not in a good mood, his whole family had just died again; his lip began to shake; his eyes welled with tears and he trembled all over. Abruptly he ran and embraced the crying members of DBSK.

This was not going well. Three members of DBSK and Ikuta Toma were preoccupied but they still had to get rid of the final members. It was time for their secret weapon. From a street or so over they suddenly heard a cry.

“Help, help! I need a hero!” Wu Zun was proud of the terror Aaron managed to put into his scream. His acting skills were improving and he had proved it was worth keeping him around.

“Hey that’s my name!” Jaejoong looked up excitedly “Well as he called specifically for me I should probably go!” And with that he began to run into the distance.
Micky was not about to get left behind.

“I can be a hero too you know!”

Finally all Jiro and Wu Zun had to do was get into the phone box. Someone had run around it with, what looked to be, a whole roll of duck tape. Luckily for the Fahrenheit boys they had come prepared. Jiro whipped out his long carving knife from no where in particular and a huge pair of ribbon cutting scissors emerged from Wu Zun’s back pocket. He decided not to ask how they got there. Several cuts and a motorcycle crash later Henry was out of the phone box breathing the free air again.

“So, are you ready to join Fahrenheit my pretty?” Wu Zun cackled his best impression of the Wicked Witch. Henry began to nod but at that moment there were ecstatic cries of ‘HENRY’ and he was knocked on the ground and probably raped by several unidentifiable persons.

“We were on our way to rescue you but we got held up. Sorry!” Eunhyuk explained.

“Funny story really, it involved a plate of omurice, a goat and Kibum’s drug test last week.”

“I’ve been clean for three weeks now guys!” Kibum shouted happily.

“Let’s go home.”

Super Junior joined hands and peacefully walked into the setting sun together because the sun always sets at approximately three in the morning where they live.
Wu Zun and Jiro were left standing in shock as their hearts with their plan broken into a thousand little pieces around their ears. Eventually Wu Zun turned to Jiro.

“If Aaron was just a street over the whole time why didn’t we just get him to get Henry out after we made the call?”

“It was more fun this way.”

Assumptions

2008-11-04T21:20:06Z

"Assumptions" aka That One Universe Crushing Crossover fic PART ONE

This is why i should not be allowed to write. I promised myself just six characters. Before i knew it everyone was there and I think i missed the point of it.

Summary: Everyone thinks Ryo and Ueda hate each other, but they have a secret. Jin and Yamapi want to know but no one understands them.

Status: FAILED

It was a bright and sunny afternoon the day Ryo found himself walking past a familiar group of people on his way home. There were three of them altogether and they were probably the people he least wanted to see at that moment. One tall and handsome, another had a large dominating nose and the last could easily be mistaken for a girl with large pouting lips. It was because of this last person that Ryo was irritated to see this group. He attempted to hide his face with his cap and sneak past them without being seen, but unfortunately for him Jin was already aware of his presence.

“What’s wrong Ryo?” Jin asked happily bouncing over to him, “You look like you’ve been hit in the face with a shovel.”
Ryo was moderately offended by this remark as he had always felt his ‘I’m evil’ face had a certain rugged charm. Before he could reply to Jin’s comment Ueda Tatsuya had stepped into the fray.

“What are you talking about Jin? He always looks like that. He thinks it looks sexy.” Ueda laughed at Ryo’s face.

“So the fairy boy speaks?” Ryo said to the usually quiet guy. “I wouldn’t be too quick to judge other people’s faces fishlips.”

“Fishlips? Have you even looked at Yamapi recently?” Ueda only seemed mildly phased by Ryo’s usual attack. Anger rose up in Ryo. What had Yamapi ever done to Ueda? It was this outrage that caused him to go a step too far.

“Well at least he doesn’t look like Gackt!”
With that Ryo continued on his journey home.

***

Ryo had known he was going to regret what he had said as soon as he said it. He spent the rest of his afternoon wandering round his house examining all the possible ways Ueda could seek his revenge. However, it had been necessary to insult Ueda as deeply as possible; if they didn’t keep up an outward appearance of hatred they would be discovered. The last thing Ryo wanted was for the world, meaning the members of his bands to discover his and Ueda’s dirty little secret. Ryo just always took it a step too far.
The afternoon seemed to disappear and before he knew it Ryo had to face Ueda.

“Listen, I’m sorry I know I went too far earlier.” Ryo said as soon as he reached Ueda at their special place. Ueda looked at him darkly

“There are some things we just don’t mention Ryo.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll give you a free hit next time we bump into each other, ok?” Ryo pleaded.

“Fine.” Ueda continued to sulk for about a minute. “Shall we go in then?” He then said cheerfully, grabbing Ryo’s arm and dragging him inside the building.

***

Ueda had been completely unaware that he had been followed. Jin pulled his beanie further down his head as he stared at the building Ryo and Ueda had just gone into. What a tacky place for a date. Jin pouted. He felt jealous, Ryo had his fingers in almost every band in Johnny’s and he was trying to steal Jin’s playboy status. Not to mention he was stealing Jin’s Tat-chan. Ryo was a bastard in so many ways.

It didn’t take Yamapi long to notice the other person watching the area Ryo and Ueda had just vacated. Jin looked like an idiot bending round the lamp post pretending it hid his wide shoulders. Yamapi was sporting sunglasses that covered most of his face and a large comfortable coat with a fur lined hood.

“Oy Jin!” Yamapi shouted as he walked over.

“Shhh they’ll hear you!” Jin waved his hands frantically without really acknowledging Yamapi.

“They’ve already gone inside that tacky place.”

“You’re right that place looks waiii lame. If they were gonna sneak around they could have at least gone somewhere classy like ‘The Little Happy Restaurant’ instead they had to go to some sleazy back alley – Wait Pi? I totally just thought you were a girl! How’d you know it was me?” Jin gave Yamapi his most confused look.
Yamapi had chosen to ignore Jin’s comment about being a girl and went straight to his question.

“Dude, you wear that outfit every time you want to be nondescript. Have you seen the stalker photos of you on the internet?”

“Ooo stalker photos?”

“Anyway, I assume you’re here spying on Ryo and Ueda? Shall we go in and see what they’re up to?”

“Ryo… that bastard… touching my tat-chan…” Jin muttered as Yamapi led him by the hand towards the entrance.

“Tat-chan… that whore… corrupting my Ryo…” Yamapi growled in response.

***

Kame lowered his newspaper. The subtle eyeholes cut in it had allowed him to observe the intimate scene and yet remain hidden from their sight. He had been too far away from Jin and Yamapi to hear their conversation but it had been clear what they were doing. Kame could sense them huddled close together as they looked for a secluded spot inside.

“Damn that stinky Yamapoodle!”

“What’s Yamapi done now?” an innocent voice asked from next to Kame.
Kame turned to the speaker with his most fearsome glare, hoping to scare him out of any further conversation. He was not in the mood to talk to any of Yamapi’s friends right now.

“Oh, hey Kamenashi, I didn’t notice you behind that excessively large newspaper. What a great disguise!” Tegoshi cried in excitement.
Looking at Tegoshi Kame was suddenly developed a cunning plan.

***

Ryo was sweating and panting next to Ueda. As soon as they entered they had jumped into the thick of things. It was hot, so hot. Ryo could barely breathe. But he had to keep going, persevere; it would be worth it in the end.

***

“Yamapi, they’re not here!” Jin’s whisper was so loud there was no point in it being a whisper.
The restaurant bustled with life and Yamapi did a last hopeful sweep of the faces but Jin was right, Ueda and Ryo were not at a table.

“Do you think they skipped the meal and are just going at it in the bathroom?” Jin sounded horrified at the idea. He would never skip the meal.

“I dunno. Maybe we should just sit down and wait for them to come back; we can wreak havoc after they’re done.”

“OK, you sit down, I’ll go check the toi-”

“No! Jin, sit!” Yamapi did not want anyone even Jin to witness such a scarring event. “Let’s just wait.”
A waiter approached them. “Can I take your order?”

“Yes! Steak!” Jin exclaimed without even asking for a menu.

“Sir, this is an Italian restaurant not a steak house.” The waiter’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

“Fine, one tuna and onion pizza, one four seasons pizza and one pizza with chips on top. What do you want Yamapi?”

“Do they really do chips on pizza?” Yamapi was fascinated by Jin’s order.

“Yeah! Try it!” Jin exclaimed.
“But I wanted paella.” Yamapi frowned.

“Sir this is an Italian restaurant.” The waiter said again, losing his patience.

“You have a really big nose…” Jin said thoughtfully, attempting, and failing, to charm the waiter.
Yamapi and Jin had forgotten their purpose in coming to the restaurant in their enthusiasm. They had stopped glancing around for Ryo and Ueda and so they certainly weren’t prepared for what happened next.

***

Ueda’s equipment was long and hard. It kept slipping in his sweaty fingers but every time he made a mistake Ryo was there smiling forgivingly and helping him correct it. Their breathing was heavy as they worked hard, moving together. Ueda had known it was going to be a long night when they began, which is why he had made his peace quickly but this was going on for eternity. Him and Ryo…

***

Kame elbowed past the disgruntled waiter and slapped Jin clean around the face. Jin just stared at him; his mouth opening and closing like a fish. That, was the last thing he had expected.

“Akanishi! You told me you had to wash your hair and now I see you having dinner with Yamapi. How could you ditch me for him? How could you lie about something like washing your hair? It’s sacrilegious!” Kame nudged Tegoshi forward with his elbow when he failed to say anything.
Tegoshi was unsure why he was supposed to be offended. Kame had just told him to come in and make Yamapi regret it. So Tegoshi did the first thing that came to mind. He grabbed a water glass from a neighbouring table and threw it in Yamapi’s face.

“Excuse me! You can’t just steal other people’s water!” The officious waiter tried to speak up in defence of the wronged table but before he could continue the occupants turned to look at the shocked men.

“No, no it’s fine. It was just getting interesting.” Jun said from behind a sinister smile.

“Woah! You guys come here too?” Jin seemed shocked and then a slightly hurt look crossed his face as if he had realised that this restaurant might be a secret everyone had been keeping from him.

“No, Oh-chan had a feeling that’s all.”

“A feeling?” Yamapi frowned.

“That something interesting was going to happen.” Jun continued to smile creepily.
Sho sighed and continued to eat his meal. In his head he was pretending he had a normal job, with normal friends and normal wardrobes. Why did he have to choose a line of work where he would have to use talcum powder every time he wanted to get dressed?

“Hey!” Aiba cried “I thought we came here because we wanted to eat Shin Ramyun?”

“Dude, this is an Italian restaurant!”
Everyone ignored the waiter.

“Aiba you know you can buy that from the supermarket right?” Nino said scathingly.

“but…”Aiba began to protest.

“I think we’re missing the point here.” Kame cut in coldly.

“Right, right so Jin what’s your defence?” Jun leaned in eagerly as did Nino and Aiba forgetting their previous conversation.

“Erm well… Yamapi and I were…” Jin faltered under Kame’s death glare.

Tegoshi had absently started talking to Ohno about Tum Yum Soup.
Sho was still pretending to not know any of the people near him.
The waiter was trying not to be forgotten.
Just as Yamapi was about to jump in and rescue Jin the people Kame had least expected walked in. Yamapi pouted as everyone’s attention moved from him and Jin to the new arrivals. He had thought up a wonderful speech to give, good enough for a drama and now no one cared.

***

Ryo was slightly aware of a disturbance outside. However, it was not affecting him and he chose to continue with his business as he tried desperately to calm himself down. It was too early. There was still a lot of time to go. Ryo had to endure. Ueda was unaware of any disturbance and just groaned.

***

“So this is a place we go to regularly.” Koki coughed at the lie Nakamaru had just said but chose not to correct him. He didn’t want these Koreans going to their favourite places every time they were in Tokyo.

“Even you guys knew about this place?” Jin looked lie a hurt puppy as he cried out to Koki, Nakamaru and Taguchi. They turned to look at Jin’s group in shock turning away from the group of thirteen or so Koreans they had just led into the restaurant. They didn’t seem to mind not being watched anymore and proceeded to run hysterically through the room taking pictures. A few managed to keep their cool and approached Jin and co. with the remainder of KAT-TUN.

“Hi my name’s Heechul.” One of them said before pulling up a chair next to Jun. “But you can call me Cinderella.” The girlish man winked at a horrified Jun. The whole group had fallen silent and just looked at Heechul who had taken no time to make himself feel at home.

“Teukie! Leeteuk! Have you seen Henry?” One of the excited men shouted across the room.

Someone else turned round and smiled innocently. “I haven’t seen him since we sealed him in that telephone booth.”

“Perhaps that’s a good thing” Another voice joined the conversation. “because Shindong just sat on his violin.”

“Anyway…” Nino said turning his gaze back to Jin and Yamapi.

“Guys, Jin is fraternising with the enemy!” Kame appealed to the rest of the members of KAT-TUN.

“The enemy? Hey wait a minute Kame the only reason we’re here is because - ” Yamapi was cut off by Heechul’s loud whisper.

“So that one’s Kame and he’s upset with … him… why?”

“Well,” Aiba began, taking a deep breath “Kame is upset with Jin because he just found him here on a date with - ”

“DATE?” A new voice screamed.

“Hey Yoko!” Aiba beamed, turning back to Heechul he contiinued “…on a date with Yamapi and everyone knows that Kame and Jin are so totally in love. As well as this there’s the war between KAT-TUN and News t the moment. Someone suggested making KAT-TUN KAT-TUNN and no one is happy. Who would want Ryo in their band?”

“Oi!” A number of voices shouted at once. One of which was Yamapi’s, however, Yamapi only had one voice. Once again Jin, Yamapi, Kame, the rest of KAT-TUN, Arashi, Heechul and the waiter turned to stare in horror at the restaurant.
Yoko grinned and ran to join in a game of tug of war that was going on between Shingo, Subaru, Ryuhei and three of the Koreans.

“Kangin! Come help us!” the one pointed out as Shindong cried as he pulled on the rope.
Shota had quickly replaced Yoko’s position and he stood pouting and staring daggers at Aiba for what he had said about Ryo. Okura stood just behind him arms folded.

“Sho! Sho help me!” Aiba wailed and turned to the empty space that Sho had been occupying not too long ago. No one had noticed him make a bid for freedom.
Aiba was saved, not by Sho as he had hoped, but by a crash.

“Oh my god, Donghae just back flipped out the window!” Someone screamed jumping after him; luckily they were on the ground floor.

“Jesus Christ, we can’t take them anywhere.” Koki muttered to himself.

“Anyway…” Nino said once again “Hey? Where’s Oh-chan?” They looked around. Ohno and tegoshi were being pinned into the corner by Leeteuk and another smaller figure. Ohno looked pleadingly back towards Arashi’s table. Nino just snorted and said “It serves him righting for trying to ditch us for Tegoshi.”

“Anyway…” This time it was Jun who tried to draw the attention back to Jin and Yamapi. “You were in the middle of your romantic date.”

“It’s not a date!” Yamapi cried.

At the same moment a Korean guy walked up to the waiter and said “Oh my god, you’re Ikuta Toma! I love you you’re awesome! My name’s Hankyung can I have your autograph?”

Everyone took a double take and realised that the officious waiter was in fact ikuta Toma. He stalked off muttering to himself about no one noticing him because he hadn’t debuted yet.

“RYO’S TRYING TO STEAL TAT-CHAN!” Jin finally exploded.
The whole room and stopped and stared at him.

“I think he needs help…” Kangin finally whispered loudly.

Suddenly the room exploded into shouts of outrage. On the one side Yamapi and Kanjani8 who were screaming about Ueda’s tools of seduction and on the other KAT-TN who were complaining about what a big meanie Ryo is.
Ohno, Tegoshi, Leeteuk and the other one had started playing strip poker in the corner.
Donghae had only just re-entered the room and upon seeing the war developing he stepped back slowly.
Heechul was adding insults in wherever he felt appropriate enjoying the conflict until his friends came and tried to drag him away. Jun and Nino motioned for him to call them as he was dragged kicking and screaming from the battle.
Aiba was curled up on his seat crying softly and waiting for Sho to come back.
Yokoyama threw a bowl of spaghetti at Kame, covering his hair in tomato.

“My hair! You bastard!” Kame threw himself at Kanjani8 landing on Subaru who pulled Shingo’s feet out from under him. Shingo pulled the tablecloth which launched more food at KAT-TN.
Before they could retaliate Toma moodily walked back into the room bangin a spoon against a large pot.

“Right that’s it! We’re done for tonight! Everyone out! Even you Mr-Naked-Man” he shouted as a guy ran past him heading toward the bathrooms.
Grumbling, everyone picked up their stuff and left. The KAT-TUN v Ryo lovers contest was destined to continue another day.
Eventually, Toma was left alone. He silently began to cry. No one cared enough about him to start a food fight in the middle of a restaurant. He hadn’t even debuted! He had to clean up!

***

Ryo and Ueda collapsed together against the table. Their brief moment of bliss at the end had passed and they were consumed by sleepiness.

“Do you reckon we should tell them about our secret?” Ueda said quietly.

“Would they believe us?” Ryo replied.

“You’re right; they’re more likely to believe we’re having hot passionate sex.” Ueda laughed “Being a secret chef sure is hard.”

"You know who i haven't seen in a while? Oguri Shun." Ueda suddenly said.

"Hmm, you're right. Wonder where he's got to?" Ryo didn't seem to give it much thought. "Hmm what did we serve last week, that tasted really good. Should we do it again."
"Oh you mean the bear? That did taste nice." Ueda smiled.

***

“By the way why do we keep it a secret?” Ueda asked some time later during the clean up.

“So we have an excuse to be mean to each other in public.” Ryo replied immediately. They walked out into the main room of the restaurant. They saw the broken window. They saw the knocked over tables. They saw the remains of a rope in the middle of the room. They saw the spilled food. They saw Sho hiding behind a curtain. They saw the clothes of Naked Man. They saw a note.

“Oh dear, it looks like Toma’s going to Timbuktu.” Ueda said after reading it.

“Eh, someone else will sort it.” Ryo replied unconcernedly. Then they closed their eyes and erased the scene from their memory choosing to believe someone else would clean up.

***

“Hey is that guy stuck in a phone booth?” Ryo asked when they walked past.

“No, I’m sure he can get out.” Ueda mumbled as they continued home.

“At least help me find my violin!” Henry screamed after them.

THE KINGDOM - Part 2

2008-10-30T16:51:38Z

Chapter 2: "Fashion Faux Paws"

Summary: The story is continued. Jun, Aiba and Kanjani8 have just sat down to enjoy their pie when an unexpected (or expected to some) arrives. Ooo the excitement right?

“Ryooooooooooooooooooo!” A small figure sprinted into the room followed closely by another person.

Ryo scrambled to his feet, a look of terror plastered to his face as the small boy hurtled towards him. Ryo turned and began to run as fast as he could away from the mysterious person.

“Where’s my pie?” It screamed.

The second figure dived at the first just before he caught up with Ryo. They tumbled together across the floor landing in a tangle of legs and arms just beside Jun. Jun stared in horror as Massu struggled to escape Tegoshi’s restraints and once again hurl himself at Ryo.

“Calm down Massu!” Tego cried “I’m sure there’s a perfectly reasonable explanation.”

Massu and Tegoshi were part of the magician clan that lived and studied deep in the forest. They often made appearances in front of the king but never before had Jun seen them so worked up before. He was suddenly worried for his safety as people had a tendency to disappear and frogs reappear when the magicians were involved. Looking cautiously around for any other members of the clan Jun shifted away from the seething Massu.

“Yes! Tego is right Massu. There’s a reason.” Ryo peered from where he was hiding behind the throne at the two magicians.

“Shall we give you a moment while you think of one?” Yokoyama laughed.

“Shut up Yoko Yoko!”

“What possible reason could you have?” Massu had stopped trying to escape Tegoshi and just stood there staring at Ryo as his eyes swelled with tears. “I spent all day making that for Tego’s birthday and you stole it! And then you stole it and I had nothing. I was outshone by Shige! SHIGE!”

Tego’s lip quivered at his friend’s sadness. “Massu? Massu, I don’t mind, I don’t really like apple pie anyway. I was just happy you were there.”

Tears fell down Massu’s cheeks as he turned to look at Tegoshi in horror. “You… don’t like pie?”

“Massu don’t cry! If you cry I cry!” Tegoshi wailed.

“See Massu? It’s alright Massu didn’t want it and it went to a good cause.” Ryo had managed to regain his composure in this time and stepped out from behind the throne attempting his best winning smile.

“You! Don’t you even start!” Tegoshi screamed “You stole my birthday present and ditched me on my birthday to hang out with these freaks!”

Cries of outrage escaped the lips of the warriors as they jumped to their feet.
“Well you can’t really deny you’re freaks. Have you seen what you’re wearing?” Jun privately nodded in agreement as he turned to see who the newcomer was.

The rest of the magician’s guild stood in the doorway, wearing long cloaks and their signature pink glove. Their hair and cloaks billowed out behind them in a mysterious wind which was clearly supposed to make them look cool. It didn’t.

“You can talk Mr-I-Wear-Animal-Skin.” Shingo retorted.

“Animal skin?” Aiba wailed.

“Leopard print is never OK Yamapoodle!” Shota had his hand on his hip and looked as if he was about to snap his fingers as he shouted at Yamapi. Luckily, he restrained himself and settled for a pout.

“It’s Ok Aiba,” Jun whispered to the distraught jester, “They’re talking about animal print.”

“Don’t be mean to Yamapi; he’s our god!” Massu rejoined the fight wiping away his tears.

“Yamapi? A god? Who could worship that fluffy haired freak?” Ryuhei snapped before turning to the three men still stood in the doorway, cloaks still billowing. “Will you please stop trying to look cool with that stupid mysterious wind? It is not cool!”

This was the last clear thing heard before the hall erupted in the screams and shouts of the various magicians and warriors.

“ENOUGH!” Jun finally lost it and raised his voice above the screams. His raised voice caused immediate silence although here were some few disgruntled faces. Once again Jun found himself thinking how great it was to be king. “Now, apologise!”

The silence stretched on for a long time as they all stared at their feet like the naughty boys they were. Finally Shingo lifted his head and said “I’m sorry for insulting Yamapi.”

Yamapi bowed in thanks and said in return “I’m sorry for saying you all have a freakish taste in clothes. It’s more like… memorable. It’s …cool.”

“And we’re sorry for eating Tego’s birthday present. If we had known it was his birthday we would have… written him a song or something.” Shota joined in happily.

“And performed it for him in a giant parade.” Yokoyama said enthusiastically.

“On instruments made out of chocolate.” Subaru chuckled.

“With balloons”

“And party poppers”

“And a giant game of grandma’s footsteps.”

“Yeah…” Shota didn’t seem to like the way his idea had got out of hand.

“But all Ryo said was that it would be fun to see how much we could get away with.”

“How much…? HOW MUCH? Did you take more than the pie? DID YOU GET INTO MY STASH?” Massu looked wild with anger.

“It seems we’ve found the route of everyone’s problems.” Jun said thoughtfully.

Every eye turned in search of Ryo. They saw him attempting to escape through a hidden door at the back of the room. Unfortunately for Ryo, it was locked. Realising his error he turned, hands spread wide in a sign of peace and his famous ‘winning’ smile plastered across his face.

“How could you Ryo?” Massu’s voice cracked in misery.

“As punishment for the theft of the pie, Ryo must spend every seventh day working in my kitchens for an entire year.” Jun proclaimed, laughing inside at the profit he was getting from this pie. Pie and free labour, what could be better?

Ryo’s jaw dropped. “But… the kitchens? But… they work there!”

“Yup.” Jun grinned. “A punishment wouldn’t be a punishment if it was easy. You are going to have so much fun!”

Before Ryo could protest anymore a sleepy voice spoke up.

“What’s going on? Why has everyone been shouting? No one’s died right?”

TO BE CONTINUED

What’s this? To be continued again? I’m getting too into this. Three guesses who has arrived this time.

THE KINGDOM - Part 1

2008-10-28T21:48:20Z

Chapter 1: "Fe Fi Fo Fun!"

Summary: What would happen if Jun were king of his own country? And what roles would the rest of Arashi play?

Ok so, inspired by a birthday card. Incoherent but fun right?
And once again I've quoted other things.

Jun threw his head back and laughed uproariously. Being king sure was great! All he had to do was sit back and listen to a few requests everyday and then he could do whatever he wanted. Eat. Drink. Behead people. The world was his oyster. The problem was, even kings had duties. Today, Jun had to sit a listen to the problems of his subjects. Already he had seen a farmer wondering whether his two headed chicken was a demon or a god; this had completely disturbed Jun and he had been unable to come up with a solution to the man’s problem. Indeed he was so distracted he failed to notice Aiba, his faithful jester, slipping coins to him as he left. Aiba liked to help make the king feel important by paying people to ask for the king’s help, unfortunately Aiba often had trouble inventing plausible problems for people to have. This had led to a series of very strange events in the past. One of which was Aiba, dressed head to toe in religious robes asking if it was wrong that his ‘flock’ was comprised solely of sheep and one goatman and that they worshipped an old holly bush just outside of the city. Jun in complete seriousness after failing to recognise Aiba and had given his best advice to date.

“Even sheep require religion neighbour.”

However, the group in front of him now was not hired by Aiba. As much as Aiba admired the strange group of soldiers standing before the king and was pleased that people were turning to Jun of their own free will now he felt vaguely uneasy. No good could come of their presence he was sure.

Jun had shivered to himself has they had tumbled into the room. They were positively blinding and Jun felt sick looking at their mismatched clothing. Before this moment he had thought it was impossible to see so many different colours all compiled into one group of people. ‘Alas the rest of the world does not share my good taste’ he thought absently as he twirled his fingers in his curled hair.

The group formed a loose line in front of him, bowing and making their small greetings of ‘your majesty’.

“State your business.” Jun intoned trying to sound as regal as possible with his chin propped in his hand and one leg casually swinging over the arm of his throne. “Why have Kanjani8 come to see me? (This time)” Knajani8 were an interesting group of soldiers who were renowned for their sense of justice. Nicknamed the Eito Rangers they were loved by everyone throughout Jun’s realm. However despite their good natures they argued almost continuously and with such ferocity that they often applied to Jun for help without Aiba’s poking unlike almost everyone else.

“My lord we need your help.” One man with a particularly ostentatious hat stepped forward.

Jun rolled his eyes at the obviousness of this statement.

Subaru continued on apparently not noticing Jun’s rude behaviour, then again he was king he could do what he wanted. “We recently, through wholly respectable and honourable methods have acquired this rather large pie.”

Shingo stepped forward with his arms wrapped around a large object of pastry goodness. The others eyed him warily as if expecting him to run of with the treasure at any moment.

“After acquiring it we were unable to decide who gets to eat it and proceeded to argue so we have come to you for your decision. Personally I think I should get it because I haven’t been able to eat a pie in three years because Okura told me it would make my toes fall off. I only recently discovered that was a pack of lies and now I want my pie!” Yokoyama had taken up the story but as soon as he had finished Okura stepped forward with a look of outrage on his face.

“I never said anything of the kind Yuu! Do not try to lie your way into getting the pie. What about me? I haven’t eaten for two days because Ryo got us lost in the forest on the way back and didn’t share a bite of his supplies!”

“Why did I have to share everything? I nearly lost a hand getting all of that stuff and I saved the pie for you guys! Besides if you hadn’t have lost the map Okura we wouldn’t have got lost.” Ryo spoke quickly in an attempt to prove his innocence. He appeared slightly on edge and kept throwing guilt ridden looks at the door.

“May I ask,” Jun interceded in a loud commanding voice “How exactly did you get this pie again?”

Ryuhei coughed nervously. “Is that really important sire? Where does the sky end? Why is Sarah Palin not from New Jersey? What came first the chicken or the egg?” He was obviously trying to confuse Jun and turn his mind away from the original question by asking so many unanswerable questions. Jun, being completely and totally on the ball, fell head first into Ryuhei’s trap. He turned expectantly to his loyal jester.

“It was the egg Milord!” Aiba whispered excitedly. “trust me I know my animals.” Jun shuddered at the implications of Aiba’s statement and decided to ignore the latter part.

“But what lay the egg?” Jun asked, confused.

“Well, ya see-”

Pointed coughing broke off Aiba’s explanation. Kanjani8 clearly wanted the matter settled quickly so they could be on their way.

“Oh yes… the pie.” Jun fingered his chin thoughtfully. He missed his beard, it had been fun to play with, but he had recently come to the decision that it looked damn ugly and he should shave. “Fetch a knife and split the Pie into nine equal pieces.” Jun cried in his most authoritative voice to date.

There were gasps all around the hall as the surrounding people marvelled at Jun’s brilliant plan. Yokoyama even spoke up and said “You’re a genius sire! We never would have thought to split the pie.”

Fortunately some of the members of Kanjani8 were keeping track of the situation. “Nine sire?” Shingo asked.

“There are only seven of us.” Subaru added.

“Really? What about the girly one?” Jun was shocked at this new found knowledge that there were only seven members of Kanjani8

“You mean me?” Shota spoke up for the first time, beaming and flicking his hair.

“No not you.”

“Me?” Yokoyama seemed appalled by his own suggestion.

Maruyama hit him.

“Ohh!” Okura said suddenly “Uchi!”

“That’s the one!” Jun exclaimed snapping his fingers.

Ryo gasped, biting his lip and turning his head to the side. He looked like he was desperately holding back tears. The rest of Kanjani8 shifted uncomfortably and found ways to avoid Jun’s gaze.

“Majesty!” Aiba’s breathy voice had a hint of urgency in it as he whispered to Jun. “Uchi is no longer with us.”

Memory returned suddenly and Jun felt a jolt of guilt. He attempted to cover his error with a smile and “Eight then?”

“There are still only seven of us!” Subaru cried.

“Yes… and one for me. Is there a problem?” Jun replied.

Cries of horror rose up from the group.

“An eighth is too small!”

“I’m hungry!”

“I nearly lost a hand for that!”

“I want it all!”

Jun slammed his hand down cutting off their complaints and grinning evilly at them he said “Great! Yokoyama, Okura, Ryo and Shota just forfeited their share. More for us right?”

“No! No we take it back!” they cried in unison.

“An eighth is too small” Yokoyama suggested desperately.

“You know… If an eighth is too small, sire,” Aiba began “I like pie.” The jester grinned.

“Great! Nine slices!” Jun clapped his hands together joyfully “Someone fetch the knife and let’s eat!”

After a small argument about who was in charge of cutting the pie (Yokoyama had tried to cut a half for himself) the issue was settled. The seven warriors, the king and his jester sprawled in a circle in the middle of the grand hall in order to eat their slices of pie.

Suddenly the peaceful mood that had been created by the pie was destroyed by the crash of the doors as they were thrown open and the long bitter howl that echoed through the room.

“Ryooooooooooooooooooo!”

TO BE CONTINUED

The Little Happy Coffee Shop

2008-10-28T00:28:19Z

So the task was:

"Your challenge IS 200 WORDS OF FANFICTION BY 11PM TODAY WITH THE CUE OF 'DOUBLE GRANDE MOCHACCHINO' if you fail you lose a million pounds and must confess to everyone you got us lost in canary wharf and I will send you the WEIRDEST INTERNET STUFF EVER and you will have to observe it because if you don't I will know" - said by Steph

So I had to rip myself away from 'It started with a kiss' and write this
therefore its not very good and poorly written I also quoted some things like the Gilmore Girls because I thought it would be funny...

The Little Happy Coffee Shop was, without doubt, the best kept secret in Osaka. A certain group of people frequented this cheerful place in order to escape the trials of daily life; in this place they needed not fear their managers, fan-girls and most of all the members of other bands. It was an unspoken rule that they did not speak about the coffee shop when they were not there. It lived only in their hearts.

It just so happened that on one sunny afternoon every member of Kanjani8 had felt the need to enter the Coffee Shop. The last member to arrive had been Yasuda Shota. He had stormed in, throwing his satchel at a nearby chair and then proceeded to stand in the middle of the room and stomp his feet, shake his head and exhale sharply. All they did was sit and stare until Shota’s hissy fit was over. They knew better than to disturb him; it would completely ruin the effect he was going for.

Once he had calmed down Ohkura approached with Shota’s usual drink, a brown sugar macchiato. Shota took a tentative sip of it as Ohkura said soothingly "Whats up Yasu?"

"Don’t even get me started!" Of course Shota immediately began speaking about his morning unable to contain himself as he had wished. "First I woke up late and found my hair like this!" He pointed hysterically at his forehead. "It’s FLICKY! And I couldn’t even fix it because Piisu had eaten through the cable of my straigteners. So I decided to go to the shops to calm myself down and on my way some guy drove too fast through a puddle and got me all wet. He ruined my favourite pair of shoes! Look!" Once again Shota hysterically pointed "Finally some girl ran up to me and screamed ‘OH MY GOD! A BEAR!’ She was talking about me! ME! How am I a bear?" He took a deep breath, a sip of coffee and looked around back to his usual cheerful self. "So, what happened to you guys?"

Subaru was the first to speak "I’m being blackmailed. Someone got hold of pictures of me, a goat and a suitcase full of cash." He gripped his toffee coffee frappe. "I still think what happened to Maru is worse."

Maru flushed a deep red. "How was I supposed to know a banana eating contest didn’t involve eating bananas?"

"Excuse me but have any of you even looked at Ryo?" Shingo spoke up from behind the counter as it was his day to mind the shop.

They all turned in unison to look at Ryo who was stating at them darkly from the corner absently stirring his mango smoothie. He looked a state. His hair was tousled and his shirt had been ripped in many places exposing his soft skin. Claw marks could clearly be seen in these exposed areas.

"I don’t want to talk about it." Was all he said.

"So that just leaves..." Shota turned to look at Yokoyama.

"I’m meeting someone!" He beamed.

They stared.

Subaru did a head count.

They stared again.

Before the members of Kanjani8 could question Yokoyama further on his betrayal their worst nightmare bounced into the Little now un-Happy Coffee House.

"DOUBLE GRANDE MOCHACHINO PLEASE AND THANKYOU" Aiba-chan asked Shingo happily.

"We... don’t sell that here." Shingo muttered.

"Oh..." Aiba looked like he was about to cry. His large puppy dog eyes appealed to the members as he looked at them in turn. None of them could meet his gaze for long and by the time he returned his watering eyes to Shingo he had broken them.

"I’ll see what I can do." Shingo said.

To this Aiba suddenly smiled again. "So this place..." he began enthusiastically. "It’s so quaint and look you all have your own special drinks. What’s it called again?"

"We don’t talk about the coffee shop." There were traces of the desire to kill in Ryo’s voice.

"Ohhhhhh so it’s like fight club?"

"In a way."

"Does that mean we have to fight?"

"No."

"Right, right it’s a coffee shop so do we see who can make the best coffee?"

"No."

"So what do you do?"

Ryo refused to answer.

"We drink coffee Aiba-chan" Yokoyama laughed.

"That’s sooooo cooool. Just wait till I tell Sho. He’d love this place its quiet and he could get all his work done. I think he would like a ... double espresso shot. I’ll just phone him and ask."

As Aiba began frantically phoning all of his band mates Shota quietly began to cry.